New Year, New Me

I suppose the New Year has something to do with the recent fire under my butt. Perhaps it’s more of a combination of factors at play; Miguel is working two jobs so he’s home less, my kids are growing crazy fast and I want to document more, I miss having a social connection with the outside world on a regular basis, I have finally/recently come to terms with me and I want to hold myself accountable.

Recently, I discovered ME; as in me, I, yo.  For as long as I can remember I have been living in a conflicted state of being.  I have always felt the need to create, to work with my hands and my heart but I have pushed myself towards trying to find a more lucrative career.  I have trouble finding satisfaction in ordinary jobs and therefore have had LOTS of them.  With every new step I take towards something I believe would fulfill me, I run away with my tail between my legs.  My fear of failure has kept me from succeeding yet I also fail because of my fear of success. See the conflict?

So I came to these conclusions:

1)      I am a dreamer.  I am ‘that’ friend.  You know, the one who always has some hair brained idea that she shares with passion yet she never follows through.  The friend who means well but just can’t seem to get her shit together career wise.

2)      There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a dreamer and I should keep my mind open.

3)      This year, I resolve to live my life for me and to follow my heart.  To no longer allow outside voices to dictate what is appropriate for me or my family.

4)      Time to use my creativity for a bigger purpose and to allow that side of me to flourish.

5)      I shall embrace my differences and count them as strengths rather than weaknesses.

As you may be able to gather, until now I made a lot of excuses and refused to take full responsibility for myself and my downfalls.  As my children grow, I realize that I may be setting them up for failure to, unless I change my ways.  I’m a firm believer in leading (parenting) by example, so if I want to raise holistically successful children, I had better start living by the same expectations.  Really, who doesn’t want to be fulfilled in all areas of their lives?

1 Year Anniversary

Yesterday marked the one-year wedding anniversary for me and Miguel. I can say without a doubt that more sh** happened/changed in our first year of marriage than in the entire course of our courtship. Ha!

Let's recap:

- Got married
- Moved into our rv and began traveling
- Traveled to the East Coast
- Found out I was pregnant
- Traveled through the South and to the West Coast
- Returned to Colorado
- Moved into my parents' basement
- Began working at the kennel again (both Miguel and I did)
- Moved out of my parents' basement and back into the rv
- Lived at a campground
- Started working at Home Depot (both Miguel and I did)
- Got too pregnant to be comfortable in the rv
- Moved back into my parents' basement
- Got hernia from pulling hoses at work
- Quit Home Depot
- Mig got his old job back in Denver and started working there again
- Mig lived in the rv in Denver for a month to save on gas money
- I was bit by a dog on my hand, swelled up for a week
- Mig moved back into the basement and began commuting to work
- Had a baby shower
- Had a baby :-)
- Stayed with parents for a few more months
- Moved into our own home
- Salem turned 3 months old

And that brings us to our first anniversary as a married couple! Happy Anniversary babe! Its been one hell of a ride!

Ideas

Since we have been back in CO life has absolutely flown by and I am really questioning the purpose of it all. Miguel and I have been slaving almost every moment of every day, never really getting a day off. I can say with absolute honesty and a bit of desperation that we HAVE to find a better way. This is not how I imagined my pregnancy or journey into marriage and motherhood.

So, I have ideas. Good ideas. I just need to be smart about how I take those ideas and formulate a plan. So be prepared to have your mind blown, because soon, very soon, things are going to change for good!

Moving Day!

After almost two months of living in my parents' basement and working at their kennel, Miguel and I finally broke free on Friday! Although the initial feeling was one of liberation, the following emotions were closer to fear and anxiety. We decided to bunk at my sister's house for the weekend while we finalized some decisions.

Being that we still own our motorhome and all of our belongings are piled into the beast, we have chosen to live there again. So, Friday morning was filled with searching for an affordable place to park the rv and call home. We came across a wonderful location by the name of, Riverview RV Park & Campground, located outside Loveland, CO on the Big Thompson River. This was an easy choice to make because of the long-term rent costs ($375/month) and many amenities, which include full hookups, free WiFi, cable, a dog park, laundry, showers, river access, trails, clean drinking water, etc.

With a new place in order, we decided to go look at cars for purchase. We have a little money saved up and would like to buy a vehicle with cash (especially since I am still looking for employment). Our mission quickly became a disappointment and we called it quits in order to eat lunch/play with the dogs.

We had a commitment to work at the kennel for the weekend so Mig and I decided that we would move into the new digs on Monday after he got off work. That leaves us here, today, Monday-Moving Day. By the time the sun goes down, we will be parked along the river and reorganizing our house in order to get/remain comfortable for the next few months.

Moving towards the goal

This week has proved to be a wild one. It all started with my return from North Carolina on Monday. From there I was whisked right back into the hectic-ness that is my life: ate something, walked dogs, rode bike to bar for Nuggets game, returned home to find 2 missed calls from family (which is never a good sign), listened to messages about how my father was in an accident but is alive and fine- just a little bashed up, tried to return calls with no luck, tried to sleep. That's just Monday evening.

On Tuesday I had the great pleasure of reuniting with my best friend from college whom I haven't really spoken to in 7ish years. We shared laughs and stories over drinks with another friend of ours. I can honestly say the time has definitely allowed us both to grow. We parted ways and I headed over to another friend's house for a bbq and some business chat. Our logo is coming along nicely and I cannot wait to unveil it to the world!

Wednesday I spent every free moment loading old pictures onto flickr in the hopes that I will someday have my collection online (my way of backing up files). I read an email from my beautiful sister who has this amazing ability to lift your spirits just right (her emails are always filled with inspirational quotes, thoughts, pictures, etc). Amongst the quotes was a picture that I thought would be perfect for our wedding invites, except I needed to add a personal touch; I spent the afternoon painting my idea and came up with something great (which will have to wait to post until after the invites are sent). Ended the day listening to the Nuggets win the second round of playoffs and jumping around wildly. First time in 24 years that the Nuggs have made it this far. Woo!

Today I tried to mow the lawn but Mig had the gas can in his truck, so no go. Decided to weed-eat but failed due to mechanical difficulties. Wound up driving to Miguel's work and hung out there for a bit. Talked to my dad; he is doing just fine. Mig and I went to the grocery store for his lunch break and then I came home. We are headed out this evening to check out our possible new home and I am pumped. Here are some pics:

Here's to an even more productive weekend!

January

So here it is January 21, 2009 and I haven't written in my 'blog' for about six months. I would like to insert that the possible reason would be a lack of exciting adventures from then to now; but that would be a lie. Too many awesome moments happened in the latter half of 2008 and I was simply too lazy to write them down. So as a new President takes office and I enter the fourth year of my wonderful relationship with Miguel, I make this statement: I will do my best to continue the things I start (including this blog).

Albeit lame, I really am going to push myself to follow my creative paths and actually complete projects. This year I push aside my fear of judgement and failure and embrace my 30th year with passion, understanding and patience. Behold, this the first day of the rest of my determined life!

2009 is anticipated to be filled with amazing new experiences and I want to share it with you..... other people having the time of their life or those looking for a laugh or another quirky individual to relate to. Cross your fingers that I always have something to say!