New Year, New Me

I suppose the New Year has something to do with the recent fire under my butt. Perhaps it’s more of a combination of factors at play; Miguel is working two jobs so he’s home less, my kids are growing crazy fast and I want to document more, I miss having a social connection with the outside world on a regular basis, I have finally/recently come to terms with me and I want to hold myself accountable.

Recently, I discovered ME; as in me, I, yo.  For as long as I can remember I have been living in a conflicted state of being.  I have always felt the need to create, to work with my hands and my heart but I have pushed myself towards trying to find a more lucrative career.  I have trouble finding satisfaction in ordinary jobs and therefore have had LOTS of them.  With every new step I take towards something I believe would fulfill me, I run away with my tail between my legs.  My fear of failure has kept me from succeeding yet I also fail because of my fear of success. See the conflict?

So I came to these conclusions:

1)      I am a dreamer.  I am ‘that’ friend.  You know, the one who always has some hair brained idea that she shares with passion yet she never follows through.  The friend who means well but just can’t seem to get her shit together career wise.

2)      There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a dreamer and I should keep my mind open.

3)      This year, I resolve to live my life for me and to follow my heart.  To no longer allow outside voices to dictate what is appropriate for me or my family.

4)      Time to use my creativity for a bigger purpose and to allow that side of me to flourish.

5)      I shall embrace my differences and count them as strengths rather than weaknesses.

As you may be able to gather, until now I made a lot of excuses and refused to take full responsibility for myself and my downfalls.  As my children grow, I realize that I may be setting them up for failure to, unless I change my ways.  I’m a firm believer in leading (parenting) by example, so if I want to raise holistically successful children, I had better start living by the same expectations.  Really, who doesn’t want to be fulfilled in all areas of their lives?

For reals this time!

Here we go! Another year has begun and we are off to a wonderful start.  A million things have changed since I last posted on this blog.  Rather than writing a giant post to get you all up to speed, I have decided to take a different route.  Cinful Sweets is undergoing a serious makeover and I will post all of our madness over time.  This time around, I am fully armed with a new Canon SLR and plenty to share (like stories about these two cuties)!

Away with the time

Holy smokes! Where does the time go? I am continually amazed at how quickly the days seem to pass now that I am a mother. So many things have happened since my last post. I have thought about writing many times but have felt too overwhelmed with where to begin.

We had Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. Salem has tried many new foods and passed a ton of milestones. Shockingly, he is already 7 1/2 months old!



I suppose now is as good a time as any to just start over (again) with this blog. With that, happy Thursday and let's see if I can actually keep up with writing!

Moving Day!

After almost two months of living in my parents' basement and working at their kennel, Miguel and I finally broke free on Friday! Although the initial feeling was one of liberation, the following emotions were closer to fear and anxiety. We decided to bunk at my sister's house for the weekend while we finalized some decisions.

Being that we still own our motorhome and all of our belongings are piled into the beast, we have chosen to live there again. So, Friday morning was filled with searching for an affordable place to park the rv and call home. We came across a wonderful location by the name of, Riverview RV Park & Campground, located outside Loveland, CO on the Big Thompson River. This was an easy choice to make because of the long-term rent costs ($375/month) and many amenities, which include full hookups, free WiFi, cable, a dog park, laundry, showers, river access, trails, clean drinking water, etc.

With a new place in order, we decided to go look at cars for purchase. We have a little money saved up and would like to buy a vehicle with cash (especially since I am still looking for employment). Our mission quickly became a disappointment and we called it quits in order to eat lunch/play with the dogs.

We had a commitment to work at the kennel for the weekend so Mig and I decided that we would move into the new digs on Monday after he got off work. That leaves us here, today, Monday-Moving Day. By the time the sun goes down, we will be parked along the river and reorganizing our house in order to get/remain comfortable for the next few months.

January

So here it is January 21, 2009 and I haven't written in my 'blog' for about six months. I would like to insert that the possible reason would be a lack of exciting adventures from then to now; but that would be a lie. Too many awesome moments happened in the latter half of 2008 and I was simply too lazy to write them down. So as a new President takes office and I enter the fourth year of my wonderful relationship with Miguel, I make this statement: I will do my best to continue the things I start (including this blog).

Albeit lame, I really am going to push myself to follow my creative paths and actually complete projects. This year I push aside my fear of judgement and failure and embrace my 30th year with passion, understanding and patience. Behold, this the first day of the rest of my determined life!

2009 is anticipated to be filled with amazing new experiences and I want to share it with you..... other people having the time of their life or those looking for a laugh or another quirky individual to relate to. Cross your fingers that I always have something to say!