Pals?

I awoke this morning to an incomplete to-do list and decided I was going to finish the rest of the tasks I had deemed necessary. Number four on the list of things to accomplish was to return phone calls to pals who had left messages in the previous week or two.

I got comfortable, made sure the phone was fully charged and set to dialing. First call: voicemail. Left some silly message with an apologetic undertone implying I was truly sorry for taking so long to reply.

Second call: Mark. He answers and my first response is, 'Don't you have a job?' I think in some way I was making these calls in the middle of the morning with hopes that all the recipients would be at their 9-5. He responded with a polite, 'Well yeah, I'm at work but wanted to take your call. Been waiting to hear from you.'

Now this just made me feel awful! This man is an attorney in NYC and has the time to take my call but for some dumb reason I have been 'too busy' over the last two months to answer or return even one of his attempts at friendship. Hmmm, things quickly turned awkward in the conversation to the affect that I realized how little I actually do. As Mark told tales of ski retreats and drunken exploits, I was scrambling for anything even remotely interesting to respond with. Nothing. We stammered around a 'conversation' for about 30 minutes before he decided that the stack of paperwork on his desk is more enlightening than I and we hung up (my words not his).

At this point I am praying that the next person does not answer and I can leave another message so that I don't have to drag anyone else through a muddled attempt at small talk. Third call: Sweet, voicemail! I blabber some nonsense about how not much is happening so no need to call back, just wanted to say hello, blah, blah.

After putting down the phone I quickly realized that I need to get out of the house more. Live life beyond these walls. I do have a part-time job that I work at 3 nights a week. All good except that I am a prep cook who's space is completely separate from the rest of the kitchen and I rarely talk to anyone there either. I need to volunteer, meet new people, find others with similar interests/lifestyles, in other words: get out. Maybe then I would actually have something interesting to write/talk about.